I have a friend who is a weave queen. She looks fab. The colors and cuts she picks compliment her skin tome and face shape very well. She doesn't wear them until the look messed up. Every few weeks she will purchase a new one. It is extremely rare that anyone sees her real hair. The few special occasions when she is not wearing a wig/hard wrap, she has some type of hair peice added. She feels her hair is healthier than most since she hardly does any manipulation. I have to say, her hair is thick. It would probably look healthier except the weave dries it out. She claims to be growing her hair to APL and then will stop wearing weave. (I say claim because she has been saying this for years and when it gets close, she cuts it in a bob. She does have a perm.)
I always felt she was insecure about her own hair but to each her own. If she wants to rock a wig everyday for the rest of her life, it's cool. Has no affect on me. Since I've gone natural, her insecurities about her hair seem to have mutiplied. Like seeing my hair in it's natural has made her realize her fears of her own hair. She made comments about having nightmares that her hair was short and nappy, causing her to wake up and touch the silky strands of her lace front for comfort. She's told me that my freshly washed hair smells like Jheri Curl. I haven't snapped on her for those comments because I see them for what they are: fear. Right after she makes those comments, she follows them up with statements on how she would go natural but she doesn't have "good hair" like I do. And she doesn't want to cut her hair. I tell her texture doesn't really matter. She'll never know what her's is like until she's natural. And I tell her she doesn't have to BC and that I'll help her through her transition is she honestly wants to try it one day.
The above is no big deal. Just converations we frequently have. What is making me mad is her revelations that she wants hair like a white girl. She has said to me twice in the past few weeks that white girls are lucky because they don't have hair like us. And asked why can't we be lucky like them and have hair like theirs. She feels their hair is better because they don't have to get it done all the time and they can just throw it up in a ponytail whenever they want. We have to get a comb and brush and stand in the mirror to put our hair up. She's upset that even with her weave, she can't achieve a quick pony because she has to make sure the tracks don't show. According to her, it's just not fair that they have better hair.
She's always trying to get me to agree with her on these statements. I keep telling her I don't agree because I love my coarse, thick, curly, nappy, sometimes unruly hair. I love that I can do so many different things. Most white women have the option of wearing their hair up or down. If they want a particular style, it takes hours at the salon, a lot more money than black women spend, and it only last one night. I can get a style for $35 that will last about 2 weeks.
Whether permed or natural, the last thing I envy is another race's hair. I like that I have options with my hair. While hair from anyone's head is unique and beautiful, I will not spend hundreds of dollars a month and never show my hair to emulate someone else's. It makes me angry and sad to see my friend so ashamed of her hair. I used to think the naturals who preached about self-hate in relation to hair were tripping, but I see that in some cases, it really does exists.
No comments:
Post a Comment