Just to be a little different

As I said yesterday, I've been going through quite a bit with my hair. I want it to be stylable but....sigh.

Yesterday I decided to give myself a frohawk since I hadn't worn one in a few weeks. So I went to twisting away...and when I finished one side...I was unimpressed. It was just the beginning of the same old frohawk.

Then I remember a picture a friend showed me of this awesome design that was once cornrowed into his hair. I couldn't recreate but it inspired me to try a mini design with my flat twist.

Picture time!

Do I really love my hair?

"I'm going to miss my hair but i'm so ready for senegalese twist. I'm so over trying to style this short ass fro!!!! "

That is a direct quote from an email I sent MSatch today. And yes, I meant every word. I'm over it right now. I keep recycling the same hairstyles but I want something different. I spent an hour trying to style my hair yesterday. What happened? Nothing came out right, my hair wouldn't stay in the styles, I had to cowash just before walking out the door to look presentable.

I was thinking about waiting until the end of October to get Senegales twist but looks like it may be sooner.

A while back, I was internet surfing and came across the article Stages of Love. It's about the stages of "hair love." At the time, I was in the honeymoon phase. It was probably only a month after my bc. But now, just fouth months in, I'm somewhere between stages 2 & 3. I'm not considering going back to a relaxer and I'm not upset about my curl pattern. I'm just disappointed in it for not doing what I need it to do. And not being able to do more with it. People constantly say natural hair is the most versatile but I'm not seeing that right now.

Shower caps, combs and other randomness

I've been working on not wetting my hair everyday. So today, I'm getting ready to get in the shower and I look over at the shower cap that I use when I do deep condish. I look at it and debate whether or not I should put it on. I mean, I'm not wetting my hair. But then I decided not to put it on. I'd just let the steam from the shower refresh my curls. I'll probably only use a shower cap for condish. Wonder if other natualistas use shower caps in the shower.

I was in the shower and looked over at a wide tooth comb. It has been sitting in the same spot for a month and a half. I haven't touched it since I decided to finger detangle and use more HEHH (which btw I love b/c it enhances my curls). It's the only place in the house that actually has a comb and it's just sitting there all lonely. Maybe I'll use it again when my hair gets longer.

Almost wondering why I still have an umbrella. The only time it's come out of the truck since my bc was when permed friends have asked to use it.

Speaking of my lovely permies, they all ask me the same question: "How do you deal with nappy edges." I've read a few blogs where the women are always devising ways to get their edges to lay flat. They use gels, shea butter, head wraps and a multitude of other things. One of my friends who has no understanding of natural hair is always telling me to use brown gel or that Jam crap to lay my "baby hair" down. (I truly hate the term baby hair, we are adults!) I actually don't think about my edges. They blend with the rest of my hair. Nappy and curly. I do use gel for certain styles but for the most part, I don't even think about making my edges lay down.

Okay, think I'm done with randomness.

Length and stuff

I figured out part of the reason why it's hard for me to have 2 day hair. It's the length and possible texture in the nape, ear and temple area. These are the parts of my hair that are less culry than the rest. The rest of my hair is either very wavy or tightly coiled spirally type things. The nape/ear/temple has very loose and frizzy curls. My hair appears longer and thicker in those areas than the rest of my hair. So I tend to want to wet it everyday to make it shrink and not look so long compared to the rest.

Wonder if there is any way to fix this. Suggestions?

2 day hair

Everyone is always talking about how to make their styles last. From the wash n go to the twist out, everyone wants 1, 2, 3, 4 or even 5 day hair. I have to admit, when I did my twist out, I wanted it to last for a week. After all the work I did to acheive the look, I wanted it to last.

But there are two things keeping me from having lasting styles

1. my slight case of OCD. I have always been a perfectionist when it comes to my hair. Not a strand out of place, not a fuzzy curl, not a slightly tilted head band...none of that. I like fresh hair. the only time I was able to handle less then perfect hair was when I would crimp my permed hair and pin it up for that messy updo type of look. But even then, each strand was specifically selected to be imperfect. My hair is too short for a messy updo so the moment my twist out looked imperfect, I was retwisting to get the day one look.

2. HIHS (hand in hair syndrome) I did a really great wash n go yesterday. My curls were well defined, hair perfectly moisturized, thou maybe a little too much (will explain later). I should have been able to removed my bonnet, fluff and go. But alas, I keep playing with the curls. Twist, pulling, seperating and now my perfect wash n go looks crazy. I can probably make it work w/o a cowash by using a headband for a few days but I'll have to keep my hands out of my hair.

My goal for the next few days is to suppress my HIHS and not use a lot of water to restyle. I have to prepare myself for not using so much water this winter. I need to be able to make this cowash last until Friday or Saturday. I will attempt to only manipulate my curls if I have to do a few strategically placed coils to preserve the wash n go.

Even as I write this, I'm shaking my head and doubting my ability to make this happen. Lol!

Vision

I had a vision of how my hair will look in a year or so. It was georgous, long and BIG! The good thing is, the dream gods allowed me to show you all what I will look like at that time.

Ok, so really this is a picture of a hair style I had some time last year or maybe the year before. I loved it. I'll probably get this again during the winter. This photo actually keeps me inspired to keep growing my hair. Hopefully, I will acheive this length and look.

4

The 19th marked another month in this hair journey for me. Some times it hard for me to see this as a journey because when I think of a journey, I think of hardships. I think of going through a really difficult process but knowing there is a wonderful outcome, which is what makes the journey worth it. When I reflect on the past 4 months, it hasn't been very difficult. Rewarding yes, but not very difficult. The random comments and stares are annoying but not life altering.

For the most past, this has been more of an adventure than a journey. I've fallen in love with my kinky coils. I enjoy seeing my curls grow and form and define themselves. I love when I mix together the right products and get a lovely result. I love the Hand In Hair Syndrom I've developed. I really wish I'd had the knowledge and thought to let go of my perm sooner but all things happen in due time. And if I'm honest with myself, the only reason I wish I'd done it sooner is for the length, not for the health of my hair. (This whole patience thing everyone keeps talking about still confuses me. lol!)

Anyhow, this month, I figured I do a length check picture. I haven't done one before. I usually do a shape check. (Click here for explination). But I think my shape is okay and my hair is a lot fuller. Picture time!

It never ceases to amaze me how MSatch can lead my in the right direction without even knowing it. Like any other day, I go to her blog to see what's going on with her Telaxed tresses and I notice a link saying "Top Sista Sites." I click and after about 30 seconds of browsing this site, I find the article "How to make a manicure last."

I hadn't told anyone this but I was gettting frustrated with the Orly Enchanted Forest polish I'd purchased because it was chipping so quickly. I knew it wasn't the polish because it's a good brand and not cheaply manufactured. I knew it had something to do with my application. I just had no idea what it was.

Well, this article has let me know what I was doing wrong. I was trying to do what I'd seen done at the nail salons. Two thick coats of polish. Apparently, I'm supposed to do 3-4 thin layers. And I wasn't letting the polish cover the tips and go under them a little bit. I never realized that manicurist actually did that for a reason.

With these tips and a few others from that article, I will try my polish again and see how long it last. I'll give an update

Holy Hydration

I've run out of Herbal Essence Hello Hydration conditioner. I had every intention of going to the store to get more but somehow I haven't made it there. Prior to doing the twist out , I was in need of a cowash on Wednesday. I grabbed the only conditioner in my closet....Cantu Shea. I followed my normal wash n go steps and.....

IT WAS THE WORST MY HAIR HAS EVER LOOKED. I had barely any curl definition. My hair looked extremely frizzy and just a horrid mess. And it felt rather rough.

At this point I should have run to the nearest Walmart, Target, CVS, Walgreens...anywhere. But did I? No, of course not. I don't learn lessons very easily.

The next day I say to myself, "Renise, yesterday was a disaster. But today won't be. Cantu Shea will be forever banished to the back of the closet. But, today is a deep condish day and a great day to try the Elasta QP." I smile and nod my head thinking how great this is going to be. MSatch loves this stuff! (Sidenote: yes, my bestie love this stuff but she also adds things to it. I normally add the same ingredients to all of my deep condishs. Of course, one of those is HEHH). I add the usually stuff, minus HEHH, apply and go on as usual. I rinse and again, hardly any curl definition! Enter the twist out to remedy that issue.

Moral of the story, HEHH is my holy grail condish. It gives me curl definition like nobody business! I may try other HE condish but my hair has spoken. But just becuase I need back up for days when I run out or heavn forbid, HE discontinues this brand, I am going to get some Aubrey Organics that I've been dying to try. If it can give me organically whatHE gives me with the chemicals, I will have a hairgasm.

The writer

I realized that blogging about my hair was helping me keep everything in perspective. I can easily check to see what works, what doesn't and what I've loved and hated about the entire process.

Well, one thing that I really need to keep track of is what I'm doing as a writer. I recently started blogging about it but I haven't kept up with that blog (Speak of Black Erotica)the way I do this one. Even though hair is important, writing erotica is my future and what hopefully will pay my bills. I need to focus on what I'm doing and not doing that is affecting my career.

I don't get writer's block every often so I really should be writing more than I currently am. Time to write down what going on with that more often so I know what's going on.

I am very excited...

because yours truly has been featured on a great blog today. Naturalchica.blogspot.com. I really love this blog because it has a focus on TWAs and we tend to be forgotten about a lot in the natural community. Especially when it comes to styling. It's difficult styling short hair but tips are hard to come by.

anywho, click HERE to see my little interview.

Thanks, Mae!

Why is this a secret?

Why haven't my fellow naturalistas and healthy hair journey goers been singing the praises of the retail chain The Vitamin Shoppe? I was YouTubing again and came across a woman talking about her shea mix and she had a note saying she purchased ALL her essential oils (EO) from TVS. I stared at the screen blankly and then said "duh!!"

That should have not been something I never thought about. They are clearly a store that sells things that are good for your body. Why wouldn't the sell EO and things of the sort? I guess I just assumed it was a store that only sold supplements to be taken internally.

So I go the website and burst into a Koolaid smile when I see how inexpensive this stuff is. Every EO was under $10, some less than $5. Veggie Glycerin was $14 but it was a pretty big bottle. They have all types of scented oils also. And I just checked out the blog The New Napptural Me and this chick said she got coconut oil there. I checked TVS and they have a 14oz jar of organic coconut oil for $5.99!!!!!!!!!!

Again my healthy hair sisters: Why is this a secret?!?! We need to be shouting out TVS from the rooftop of every building! I will so be there tomorrow. I've made my list and checked it twice....sure I've been naughty but TVS seems to be so nice. Lol! Sorry for the rhyme, the writer in me came out! I'm just excited to go to TVS tomorrow.

Slander

Just thought I'd mention this. I've been seeing my name slandered an awful lot lately. I won't mention the name of the telaxed diva with the fierce new hair cut, but below, you will find a list of post where the good name of Renise B. has been dragged through the mud. Enjoy! Lol!

Hair Cut

Review of ORS

Twist and Shout

Reading MSatch's blog about winterizing her hair made me realize I still had no plans as to what I was going to do. It had been getting colder over the past few days and I realized these wet my hair everyday styles are not going to cut it any longer. I'm not ready for the Senegalese twist that I love to wear because I love seeing my hair right now.

So I stood in the mirror and stared at my hair for a few minutes. I decided to do a twist out. I spritzed some water on the back of my hair, applied a little gel and shea butter and started grabbing small sections for two-strand twist. My hair was shrinking really bad and I knew my hair would look really short. I untwisted and went to a section of dry hair. I started grabbing and twisting dry hair. It was stretching my hair as opposed to shrinking. I ended up doing dry twist all over and it only took a few hours!

Once finished, I wet my hair. Some of it started to unravel. I rubbed Hollywood Castor Oil and IC Fantasia gel over each twist and coiled them to tighten them back up. Once dry (I did have to use the diffuser a little bit) I carefully untwisted. I didn't seperate the twist, just untwisted. I used a pick to fill in the parts of my scalp that were visable. My first twist out came out FAB!

Still disappointed

because my old stylist never returned my phone call. Hmmm....guess she just doesn't want to deal with natural hair. Guess it's back to the drawing board. I have to find somebody to color these coils!

Hand in My Hair

This post was inspired by Mae over at the blog Going Au Naturale. She posted Hand in My Hair Syndrome.

This syndrome is exactly what is says. I keep putting my hand in my hair. Every since I've gong natural, I cannot keep my hands out of my hair! I've read about many naturals with this syndrome, especially us newbees. But I seriously thought I was the only one with a FAVORITE CURL! I actually have two, both on the right side of my head near the crown. They are side by side. Lol!

I'm always pulling and twirling them. It doesn't matter where I am: work, driving, at the club...anywhere. My fingers are searching for curls and relishing in the softness of my coils. So in love with my hair!

Disappointed

I am rather disappointed in a couple of hair stylists in my area. As I have said before, I want to get my hair dyed. I've made the decision to get a brown color and since I'm off until Thursday, I figured I'd get it done over the next few days.

I found a website that gave 2 natural salons in my area. I called one because it was also recommended by another Naturalista I meet via Facebook. The number is to a cell phone. The voicemail answers and says, "My phone is officially broken in half so leave a message. And if you want me to call you back leave your number." That's it. No greeting, business name, or even name of the person's who phone it was. If this is a business phone, it is helpful to leave some of this information so that someone who is not a regular client knows what's going on.

Then I try the 2nd listing. I call and this is a business phone as a man answered saying the name of the shop. I want to be sure this is indeed a natural shop so I ask if the specialize in natural African American hair.
His response, "Um.....yeah."
Then I thought maybe it was a salon for white people since he answered with a "duh" voice and I couldn't tell by his feminine voice if he was black or white. I say, "I'm sorry, African American natural hair?"
Him with the same attitude, "That's pretty much all we do."
Me, "Oh, okay. I just wanted to be sure."
Him, "What website did you hear about us from?"
Me, "blah, blah, blah."
Him, "Okay, they are supposed to have our web address up there but they took it down. If you had gone to our website that you would know that we specialize in natural hair."
Me (wondering why he has an attitude with me for not knowing abt the website and services when he already knows the other site took down his info) "I recently went natural and am looking to color my hair. I've never had this done before so I'm not really sure abt color."
Him, "ummmm....okay."
Me, "Can you tell me abt your services and prices?"
Him, "All of that is on the website. You need to go to the website. Do you have a pencil or something. go to blah, blah blah. You can make an appointment there too." Hangs up phone.

I look at the phone and shake my head in disbelief. WTF? How do you expect to get business with a nasty attitude and unwillness to assist a customer? I'm clearly telling him I'm newly natural and need color consultation. He's only focused on sending me to the website and having an attitude because I don't know everything about his shop. I guess this website is supposed to assist me in picking on the color that is right for my skin complexion.

Out of curiosity, I go to the website. They have a list of services and prices for perms, weaves, cuts and colors. I look a little further and there is a seperate section for naturals. There is a disclaimer stating services are priced seperately for naturals and are set according to personal requirements. This is because a consultation with the stylist is required for most naturals when getting styles or color. So not only do you rudely kick me off the phone, telling me to look at the website for prices, but there are no prices and you advised the customer to get in person consultation. Clearly, they do not wish to have an ever expanding client base.

Based upon these things, I have contacted my old stylist to see if she can color my hair. I've always trusted her to take care of my hair. She kept it healthy and looking great. I was put off by her comments when i decided to go natural but I can't blame her because I was going to her every two weeks. She was losing money. Hopefully she and I can work together to get a great color and hope she can work with my natural hair. She can cornrow so maybe I'll have her give me a frohawk with an intricate braided design. Who knows? Just waiting for her to return my call now.

Puff

I needed a new style for my TWA so as usual, I started browsing YouTube. The Naturalists there are the best at showing styles and now they achieve them. I saw a style that I don't have enough hair to acheive but revamped it and make it work for my curls.

After a cowash, moisturizer and sealer, I applied IC Fantasia gel to the back and side of my head. I took a stretched out headband and wrapped it around my neck twice. I pushed it back to the crown of my head. Since part of my hair had gel, that part slicked down and pulled into a nice mini puff. I used a rat tail comb to pull the front of my hair out of the headband. I stretched it and it gave the appearance of a hump. This was the result:

Color

I'm going to look into finding someone to color my hair some time between Friday and next Wednesday. I'll be off work so that's as good a time as any. I've decided I want a chestnut type of color. I want to speak to whomever will do the color prior to having it done just to be sure though.

I'll be doing 2 deep moisturizing condish to prepare my hair for this. That's also why I did the protein tonight after work.

I'm hoping to go to a natual salon for the color. If I can't find one, I'll get in contact with my old stylist. I'll feel safe with her doing it because she knows my hair but at the same time, she doesn't really know my hair anymore since it's natural. When I told her I was going natural her response was "wow....good luck" said in a tone like "you have lost your mind!" Her response kept me from going to her for my BC even though I wholeheartedly trusted her with scissors. I rocked very short hair the entire time I went to her.

The shop that did my BC only had locticians. I loved the shop but I know they don't have what is really needed for my loose hair. I've heard there are some other shops around so I'll be on the look out and making calls this week.

Finally, protein success

I was informed the ORS pack I used was a moisturizing condish, not protein like I thought. So that kind of changed my prespective on it but only a little. I still like how soft my hair was but it pretty much gave the same results as the mixture I've made.

I was still wondering what to do for a deep protein condish. I had almost enough LustraSilk Cholesterol left for one use. I added the rest of the ORS pack, EVOO, honey, and some HEHH (only added because there wasn't enough of the other 2 condishs to cover my hair). I remember the condish breaking down a lot when I added salt so I didn't want it to be in the mixture too long. I mixed it in just before application. I let it set, no heat, for an hour.

As I rinsed, I was pleased that my hair didn't feel as rough as it normally does when I rinse out LustraSilk. It's not the normal softness but it felt really good. It was almost 230am by the time I rinsed and I wanted it to dry faster. Being very horrible to my hair, I rubbed a towel over my hair to absorb most of the water. My hair was poofy and curls were pretty much non-existent. I generously applied Nubian Heritage Coconut & Papaya Hair Butter. Some of my curls came back but it will require some work to look good tomorrow.

My hair is about 95% dry. It has never felt so soft after protein. I'm going to stick with LustaSilk Cholesterol as my protein. I realize now that I just have to add a really good moisturizing condish.

Oh and I had been thinking my hair was breaking off from lack of protein. When I rinsed my hair, I took the time to check out the hair I lost. Hardly any of it was broken hair, it was mostly shed hair. I saw the white bulb things on the ends so I knew there were shed. All of the strands looked really thick and strong.

3 Natural Sisters....

Not sistahs but sisters. Me and my sisters. As we know, I did my BC a little over 3 months ago. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before but my oldest sister has admired my hair since my BC and is now transitioning. This has me super excited because every time I see her she is staring, touching and telling me how great my hair is. I've always looked up to her in regards to any standard of beauty so he attention and following in my footsteps is unbelievably cool. This morning, I chatted with my older sister. We don't get to talk often and she lives pretty far away. She told me she's getting her hair loced today!

My parents only had us three girls but we are so different.

Oldest sister: Her hair is naturally a light brown color. I vaguely remember her natural texture but based on her new growth, I'm thinking she'll be 3A possibly 3B.

Older sister: Her hair is dark brown, almost black. She is definitely 4A-4B. Her hair never seemed to really accept the changes a perm tried to make. Her hair is kinky but very fragile.

Youngest sister: That's me!! LOL! My hair is very dark also. I'm in the middle of my older sisters as far as curl type. I think I'm mostly 3C with some 3B in the front and 4A in the back.

It's true what they say, every curly head is not alike! Oh and it seems that this generation of women in my family have embraced the natural side. The youngest cousin (16) has never had a perm but she straightens her MBL hair. I have another cousin (19) who has just loced her hair. That leaves only 2 female cousins of this generation with perms.