A black woman is attractive only if...

I was reading a blog today and it touched on two topics that are sensitive to me. Nappy hair and big butts. The blog was touching on how the African features of larger behinds has been accepted but not the African features of nappy hair. click here for the blog.

The subjects are sensitive for me because I just started my natural hair journey. I'm sporting a TWA right now. There is the issue of men finding me attractive because I have not only short hair but it's curly also. I tend to wonder if they immediately dismiss me as being a lesbian or just simply think "she not cute with that short nappy hair." I absolutely love my hair and am not going back to a perm because of this. I love the way I look but I cannot lie and say that at times, I don't feel a bit insecure. These are usually the times when I don't think I've dressed very feminine. Such as if I were wearing jeans and a polo shirt, instead of jeans and a more dressier, non-unisex type of shirt.

As far as the big butt thing goes, I don't have a butt. Never have. I've always felt insecure about it. So many times I have heard, "She would be okay if she had an ass." I hate buying jeans because they have to be really tight so that they aren't baggy around my butt or if I buy them more comfortably, they sag and I look like I have even less of a butt. I've dated guys who have asked why I don't wear clothes to make it look like I have a bigger butt. This lets me know that although they seemed to think I'm cute, they've had issues with my body shape. I actually feel a bit inferior when I'm with friends who have big butts. I feel like they will automatically get all the attention because that is the first thing a guy even bothers to look at. Ass first then face.

So with the combined issues of me not having a butt and now having short, nappy hair, I'm thinking I'm not going to have a man for quite some time. Part of me is laughing at this because of how shallow it seems. The other part of me is sad because I am not so naive as to realize that physical attraction is a big part of any relationship. Especially when first meeting someone. If I have a lack of attractiveness in the two main areas that black men seem to care about, how can I possibly find someone? Please do not misconstrue this as an effort to book a pity party, I'm just stating facts.