Very Cool

My best friend MSatch of the blog BTW is always finding something cool. She found a website that allows you to create a signature to use on blogs, websites and emails. Not just the regular signature like some quote you like or your contact info. But a real signature. You have to check her's out.

Obviously, since I think her's is super cool, I had to make one of my own. I'm debating about adding it to somethings on my website but feel a bit leary about that. I don't want people to think it is actually my signature. There is an option to scan an image of my signature into the site and have it created that way. I may do that.

Anyway, here's my signature for now.

Finally got it right

I had tried a variety of ways to do a frohawk. Mostly, they were unsuccessful. But yesterday, I blew dry my hair because I intended to try Senegalese twist. It was a lot more work then I wanted to do yesterday. I had to do something so that I didn't waste time blow drying my hair. So I decided to flat twist my hair since it is so much longer than it was before. The twist came out really well, so I ended up doing both sides and making a frohawk. I don't really like the whole picked out fro look on myself so I wet the loose hair to get the curl back. I put a little bit of gel to enhance my curls and the look was fab.

Picture time!!!!!

laughing at the email i just got from the site I used to blog with. They say my account and all my info has been upgraded to their new platform. So I type in the address...and it is still the same! The last 2-3 blogs I wrote do not show. smh. ridiculous.

Today's Randomness

I went to the BSS yesterday and purchased something I wanted and needed. I needed more gel as I had used almost all of what little I had left doing kinky twist on my friend this weekend. I've been dying to try the IC Fantasia because I have NEVER heard anything bad about it. I also bought some hair so I can practice Senegalese twist on myself. It's much harder to braid/twist my own hair. So I parted a small section of hair and applied some of the gel (I was doing this to practice a twist) and my hair curled sooooo well! OMG! The back of my head has hardly any curl, never has. But this gel....DAMN! I love it already. Can't wait to apply to the rest of my hair.

I am getting a bit frustrated with my hair. It seems the back is getting curlier, producing tighter curls while the front is getting straighter. Uugh! I am getting so irritated with front and crown of my head. My best friend has been telling me to relax and just see what happens as it grows. When the hair gets heavier, the texture will change. She's right but I'm just worried about how it's going to come out as this will affect how I am able to style my hair. I'll probably twist my hair a lot sooner than I intended to so this will stop driving me crazy.

I was mixing together some stuff trying to figure out what to do for a moisturizer. I don't really like the mixture and won't bother to post ingredients. I noticed the few times I've used it that my hair feels kind of hard and sticky. I've used it 3 times and only made a small amount. It occured to me last night that I used too much honey. It's making my hair sticky. That was a "duh" moment. Lol!

And I came across something interesting when reading a blog The Golden Sparkle. She was talking about PJs (product junkies) and how she's trying not to become one. She came up with a great challenge to stop herself from accumulating a lot of products. I am totally not a PJ but thought her challenge was cool. http://thegoldensparkle.blogspot.com/2009/05/its-challenge.html

And one more thing...

I have one more thing to say and then I PROMISE no more blogging about hair today.

So I was introduced to this guy who has a great head full of locs. They are awesome. He just started locing in October I believe. They've grown a lot. He mostly twists them himself but occasionally visits a shop. I think it's pretty cool that he took the time to learn to do them himself. It's take a long time to do this (any one who has tried to coil or two-strand twist their entire head knows what I'm talking about) and he made sure he learned how to do them right.

We were talking on the phone last night as he twisted his hair. I like talking to him for a number of reasons but I really enjoy talking to him about hair. It's hard to find anyone to talk to about my hair who understands and isn't just asking me why I've done my hair this way and how I keep it looking decent. He tells me things about his regimen and what's he's learned going through his process. He asks me questions about what I'm doing know and what I'll do later when I reach my hair goals. He has hair goals, which I think is super cool.

I love meeting naturals and this is the first guy I've met which makes it even more interesting.

How could I forget?!?!

I saw my best friend on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!! First let me just say, it has been almost a year since I'd seen her and her family. Her GORGEOUS daughters have grown so much. I hate that I can't see them as much b/c the don't know me and even though I was to give them hugs and kisses, they are very young and don't remember so I don't want to freak them out and make them cry. But anyway, the hair on these girls heads is ridiculous! They both have very long curly hair. My best friend had these cut twisted styles in their hair. They looked adorable. (I'm a little jealous they have more hair than me! lol)

So as I have said before, my friend texlaxes her hair. It's looked really good. I could see the beautifully wavy texture of her hair. It looked a lot thicker than her hair used to and was very soft. She is doing a great job on her hair. She had it up in this cute bun type style. It wasn't actually a bun but just pinned up. It was cute. I can't wait til my hair get long enough for me to do sutff like that. I have hair envy of 2 toddlers and their mommy! lol! I love them all though!

Great start to my weekend which only got better as time progressed. Sad I couldn't see them again before they headed back home but thankful for the time I spent with my homegirl and her entire family.

Kink Twist

So this weekend I did kinky twist for the first time. I did them on a good friend of mine who agreed to be my guinea pig. I was surprised at how easy it was to do them. I truly have to work on my technique so they come out better and faster (took forever!). She has thick shoulder length permed hair. It was fun though b/c I was doing them to a friend and we talked and laughed the whole time.

I realized when I was doing them though, I was doing more of Senegalese twist than a kinky twist. For those unfamiliar, a Senegalese twist is general done with human or jumbo braid hair as opposed to Kankelon hair. The hair is seperated into much smaller sections and the hair is double twisted. This makes the twist smaller and sleeker. So instead of thick puffly looking twist, you have a slimmer twist. At first glance, one might think someone with Senegalese twist has Pixie style braids. So my homegirl has a mixture of both. It's cute though.

Picture time!!!!!!!!!!
and apologizes for the sideways picts. too lazy to fix that today :-)

I'm thinking...

about making a moisturizer for my hair. I like what I'm using but SoftSheen Carson Roots of Nature. But it's almost gone. I love how my hair reacts to the Nubian Heritage but as I said before, I'm not looking spend $9 on 4oz. I need more for the few dollars I have.

I got to thinking about the shea that I still haven't thought of anything to mix with. I like how my hair reacts to it. So I went YouTube researching to see what the naturalistas there are doing. I saw some who just mix shea with a natural oil to mask the nutty smell. I wanted a little more. I came across a vid by allthatsgold on How to make whipped shea mango butter hair cream. I've seen one of her videos before showing how do a wash n go and I like her hair. I felt her mixture was the best for me and personal taste as far as smells and things like that. Although I did see something additional about someone adding honey so I may do that also.

Anywho....as soon as I get the money to purchase the ingredients I want, then I will make a batch and let you guys know how it works. Hopefully this will be sooner than later. And being the creative minded person that I am, I've already thought of a name for my mixture. Shango Hair Creme. What do you think? Cute? Too much considering I haven't mixed it or settled on the exact ingredients? Yeah. lol! I know.

This is the starting list of what I will include:
Shea butter
Mango butter
Honey
Jojoba oil
Coconut oil
Veggie glycerin
Rosemary oil (not sure abt this b/c heard the smell is strong and I'm not big on flowery scents)
Castor oil (not sure abt this one either. no particular reason)

Excited

At the end of this week my best friend will be back in VA!!!!! Yay! I'm super excited as I have not seen her and the family in a looooooooooooooooooooooooong time. And I'm thrilled to be able to see her with texlaxed hair for the first time. Her pictures show how healthy her hair is becoming and it looks great. Can't wait to see it in person and touch it. She's been blogging about her texlax/healthy hair journey on her blog BTW. She's always trying something new and it what give me inspiration to pretend to be the mixologist she is becoming.

Today is....

month 2 of my nappy journey! Yay me! I am excited for so many reasons.

1. just because of what this celebrates: me and my continued naturalness. This is a great experience.
   
2. I was at a club last night and some random girl comes up to me, telling me how much she admires my hair. Her hair is braided and she says it's natural beneath the weave but doesn't know what to do with it. Unfortunately, I was a bit tipsy and unable to give her the advice she dearly needed. I'm sorry random girl! I really hope she takes a few moments to google natural hair and not go back to the perm.
   
3. I just took picts for my 2 month and am so very happy to see the progress. I used to get so irritated at how full the top of my hair is and then at the back would suddenly flatten (as if i had leaned back and flattened my fro) and was not as full. It's not nearly as flat as it was just 2 months ago. See comparison below.

And just because I got way picture happy, here are some more pictures that I took today.

3 years...

is how long I've been single. I've been somewhat involved with a few guys for a total of about 6 months. I'm over this whole being single/barely dating a guy for more than a few weeks thing. I'm ready for a relationship.

I've actually been feeling extremely lonely and disappointed lately. Disappointed because the few guys that showed interest, one even called himself my man, managed to make me feel even lonelier with them than I was before they walked into my life. At the moment, there is absolutely no one in my life. I am truly missing the intimacy (not sex, although love doing that) that comes from being with someone. Trying to remember the last time I was hugged by a guy who wasn't my best friend or gay is completely pointless. Same thing with a kiss or cuddling on a couch watching television, holding hands, randomly caressing an arm, leg, back, shoulder, etc. All those little things that make you feel loved/wanted/needed are missing.

Up until now, when I felt this way, I would hang with some friends and those feelings would go away. That's not working this time. Every time I'm alone, and some times when I'm not, I feel lonely. I'm feeling it really deeply within me and I can't shake it. It makes me understand why the saying "I'm looking for someone to complete me" came about. It's not about needing someone to make you feel like life is worth living or make you become the person you should be. It's about already being on the path to whatever greatness you already poses but having someone along for the journey. So while I am content with the path I've chosen to follow, I also need the type of companionship a friend cannot offer me.

I've been keeping my feelings about this to myself. Mainly because I don't want to bother anyone with my depressing talks of being lonely. All of my friends except 2 have someone in their lives. When I tell some of them how I feel, they tell me how lucky I am to be single and that I should enjoy it while I spend time working on my life and focusing on myself. I don't want to hear that crap. I've been listening to them say it for years and each time I want to curse them out. I don't because they mean well but it pissed me off. I don't feel lucky to be alone. I can continue my goals while I'm dating. I'm not some feeble-minded little girl that cannot separate her wants and needs from that of the guy she is dating.

I spend an extraordinary amount of time talking to people about their relationships. The things that make them happy, sad, frustrated, ready to kill their partner, and just the everyday things that make up the foundation of the relationship. Whether they are happy or mad, I have a degree of envy. I guess my life is supposed to be less complicated since I don't have to deal with those ups and downs. But I would welcome that into my life right now. I would choose that any day over what I feel now. Empty and alone. But for now, I will retire to my bed. Wrap the cover around myself and pretend I'm wrapped in the arms of the one who loves me.

And so...

I did a few things to my hair in the past 4 days that I shall share. Sunday, I was talking to my best friend and she was telling me about some mixtures she had done this weekend while doing her weekend deep condish treatments. (One of which I am dying to try and will explain in detail once I do.) I always get excited when I hear her describing her chemistry experiments so I decided to make my own.

Since I got the shea, I've been wanting to mix it with something. Not finding really great results on the internet, mostly because I've only read about it being mixed with essential oils or some type of crazy mixture that I do not care to spend the time on. I mixed shea, olive oil, honey and Lustrasilk deep condish. I kept this mixture really easy, I put everything into a red plastic cup, did melt anything in the microwave. (I learned that since I have unrefined shea, it's easier to blend w/o having to melt.) I slathered on my head, let it sit for 2 hrs. I rinsed and my hair felt really oily. I let Hello Hydraytion poo sit for a few minutes. My hair was squeaky clean. I let moisturizing condish (hh) sit for a few min and it was soft and felt really great. I used the Coconut Papaya moisturizer and a did my 10 min coil.

Yesterday, I didn't feel like doing much to my hair. My coils were looking fuzzy but I didn't want to cowash or do much of anything. I spritz my hair with just water until damp. I rubbed a very small amount of shea and then used a wide tooth comb and pick to comb out the coils a little bit. Made my hair really full and great curls. I threw on a headband and rocked a successful 10 min coil-out. I loved it.

Today, I'm still in a hair lazy mood. My hair looked a bit dry but the curls are still looking good. I dampened my hair but it was feeling... i don't know. It needed something. I am not fond of the nutty smell of shea but still trying to decide what to mix it with. I thought very briefly of mixing with my fav moisturizer(C&P) but changed my mind. I have an Olive Oil Moisturizer that I never used b/c it is full of horrible ingredients like mineral oil and sooooo many chemicals that I couldn't even begin to pronounce. I grabbed that and mixed it a red cup with the shea. It didn't allow the shea to break down as well as it did with my DC mix. When I scooped out the mix, it was clumpy with shea. I rubbed btwn my palms and it was a greasy mess. I sighed and used it anyway b/c I curious as to what will happen. My hair is EXTREMELY greasy. It feel soft but is still damp so when it fully dries, I'll give my finally results.

I know this was looooooong but I'm done. Thanks for reading if you made it all the way. lol!

Why

I've started this blog because the one I had on the topic of my natural hair journey and sprinkles of my life in general is acting crazy. It's hosted by a different company and they are making some changes. Unforunately, those changes have somehow stopped my posts from being viewable. I'm beyond irritated because I spent a good amount of time writing something today and it's may as well not even exist. I'm going to attempt to move post about my hair to this blog because I really don't want to lose those. I am disappointed about the other posts not being all in one place but I guess this is necessary.

The Journey 5/21/09

Thanks to my best friend, I've decided to grow my hair natural. I thank her b/c she brought the idea to my attention while thinking of doing it herself. After we started talking about it, that is pretty all we talk about. Her hair is pretty long so she has decided to texlas which is a less damaging way to relax her hair. It's a pretty cool process. I on the other hand did the big chop 2 days ago. My hair is all natural and maybe about an inch or two long. I love it!!!! It's healthy and is super curly with just a little mousse and really soft. Well the soft part isn't new to me b/c that's how my hair has always been. Even though my bff and I are doing differnt processes, we have a common goal: healthier, fuller hair. I'm so happy to have her on this journey b/c don't know how confident I would be doing it alone.

I have never been more excited about my hair. I've already got the hand in fro syndrome, meaning I can't keep my hands out of my hair. I love to touch it and feel my natural texture. This has got to be the best thing I've done for my hair my entire life. By way of this blog, I will be keeping track of what works and doesn't work on my hair. Any mistakes I make along the way as this is a learning process for me. I will also be posting pict of my hair growing. I did my bc 5-19-09 so will take a pict on the 19th of every month, as well as picts throughout when i try different styles.

So this is me the day of my bc:

Products and Cost 5/21/09

It is a fact that Black women spend the most on hair care products. Something like 80% of all sales. When deciding to go natural, one of the things I researched was what type of products to buy. I can't use the same stuff I was using. So I found out that mineral oil and petrolium are the worst things to use in your hair. They act as fake moisturizers while drying out your hair. What's interesting is how hard it is to find products w/o one of these as the main ingredient. It's crazy.



Anyway, since I have to buy new stuff, I was thinking this is going to be so expensive. Being on a tight budget, this had me worried. I hadn't bought anything before I bc'd. I just woke up the other days and was like fuck it, I'm getting this done right now. When I left the natural salon, I headed straight to Target. I bought herbal hessence hello hydration poo & co (they are fab by the way!), some mousse and a bunch of headbands. Yesterday I went to sallys and walmart trying to find good moisturizers (bought one that was horrible and will be trying the other in a few minutes) and get a satin scarf. With all of that and the $35 it cost to have sew-in taken out and my hair cut, I've spent $70. That is less than the amount I would pay for perm, cut, and style!!! Being natural is getting better for me every day!

The Hunt 5/22/09

I can truly see why curlies/naturals are product junkies, especially for beginning naturals. I've been on the hunt for a good moisturizer/sealer. I've purchased 2 moisturizers. One turned my hair white when mixed with my mousse. The other doesn't seem to be doing anything. I haven't given up on it only because I don't have a sealer yet. I was too lazy to go to the store yesterday and get this olive oil sealer I want to try. So as of now, my hair does't feel as soft as I'm used to (even compared to when I relaxed) and I think it looks a bit dry. My hair was softer the other day when all I used was a leave-in mixture, mousse and hair grease. I'm not using that combo b/c grease isn't good for your hair. It has mineral oil and pertolum which are not real moisturizers. They eventually dry your hair out. (Side note: I do have a friend who has been natural for yrs and told me to just throw some grease up in my hair and keep it moving. When her hair is really short, shorter than mine, it looks good. When she grows her hair out to abt my length, it looks dry. I will not be doing this.) So the search for the right combo is on! Going to get that olive oil sealer, can't remember the name at the moment but I know what it looks like. Will definitely update with product name and results as soon as I try it out.

The boyfriend....uuugh! 5/22/09

I've been dating a guy for abt 2 months. Have known him for a long time but only as a friend's cousin so never paid him much attention. Before my bc, i had short permed hair. When dude & i started dating, I was wearing shoulder length weave as protective style to allow my hair to grow. When I decided to go natural & cut my hair, I told him. He told me not to do it b/c he has to look at it and he don't like short hair. I promptly reminded him that I have short hair and he needed to revisit some of my picts. He cont to complain. I told him if he couldn't handle it to locate the nearest exit. He didn't.

Sent him pict of my hair post bc. His exact words, "Fuck man!" Followed by, "Why you so hardheaded? I told you not to do it."

We don't talk for a few days, which oddly enough is natural. We talk yesterday and these are the things he tells me: Why couldn't you just do the one simple thing I asked you to do? Why are you so disobedient? You need to put some weave back in your head. I don't ask for much but you couldn't just do this. I told you I didn't want you to do it, why don't you listen. You need to consult me before you make changes and don't do it if i tell you I don't want you to. You gonna have to put some braids in your head. I'm just gonna keep talking about this. You'll never hear the end of this."

So while trying not to laugh at this idiot, I provide the following responses: You're not my daddy, therefore, I am not disobedient. I'm not going to do things just because you state you prefer me to look/act a certain way. I do things to make me happy, not you whom i've been datin 2 months. I am not going to put weave in my hair. I don't plan on doing anything different until probably winter and that's just for protection. You want me to get braids then I need $2-300..... yeah, this cld go on and on but I'm giving the shortened pg rated version. It ends with me telling him if he can't handle it, he needs to make a decision. And again, he doesn't.

We cont to talk. I tell him abt somethings bothering me at work. He gets really quiet and doesn't say anything aft I'm done talking. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know what to tell you. I think I understood you better when you had long hair. Now I don't know what you're even talking about. Why you have to cut you hair?" At this point I hang up the phone. I told him I wasn't going to listen to him complain abt my hair. So everytime he starts bitching, I'm hanging up the phone.

Thirst Quenched 5/25/09

Like I said before, I was having a hard time with the whole moisturize/seal combo. I really liked the moisturizer I bought: Softsheen Carson Roots of Nature Remedies Shea Butter Green Tea/ Triple Repair Hairdress. Long name! It moisturizes my hair and makes it so soft. However, I was too sure about it a few days ago b/c I didn't have a sealer and my hair was drying out. So I finally went out and bought Hollywood Beauty Castor Oil. It was recommended by my best friend and I think someone else too but can't remember.

Anyway, I shampooed and deep co yesterday. Afterwards, I used the SCRNR and the HBCO. SCRNR worked well as it did before. I love the HBCO! It made my hair feel even softer and it totally took care of the little bit of dryness that my scalp had. I have really dry skin so the SCRNR didn't really take care of it. Together with the HBCO was perfect combo. My hair wasn't dry by the end of the day as it was a couple of days ago. And when I woke up today, it's still soft and moisturized. It feels so good. I think this is a great combo for my hair.

I may try a diff moisturized when I'm done with the SCRNR only because it's white and I'm going to look for something clear. But that's still up in the air. I probably won't b/c these two products seem to be working so well together. I don't want to be a product junkie although it's hard not to.

Did I forget to mention 5/25/09

I LOVE MY HAIR!!!!!

Doing my hair every morning it so much fun. It's easy and quick. I've got my routine down which is not difficult since my hair is pretty short. I'm sure as it gets longer, there will be much more to do, especially once I get to a length where I can start doing styles like twist/braid out, coils and stuff like that. But for now, wash n go is the style. Or maybe I'll try coils tonight. I've seen pple with hair abt my length with coils. If I do it, I'll update.

What I'm loving a lot abt my hair right now is the way it curls. I actually have corkscrew curls throughout the middle and back. I would probably have more but I can't keep my hands out of my hair. LOL! I can't help it, I just love playing with my hair. I've always been that way but now it's sooooo much worse.

In my opinion 5/26/09

So not cute! I made several attempts to style my hair last night. I started off trying to do coils but it was very time consuming and I didn't feel like doing it. I pulled apart the ones I'd done and they were very cute. Probably shld have just kept going.

Then I decided I would attempt flat twist. I've never been able to do them. My hair is too short for me to learn on though b/c I had a hard time gripping my hair and making the twist. While trying to figure this out, I ended up doing something of a twist/coil on my hair. It was easier then flat twist and quicker than coils so I continued with that. Once finished, I put on a scarf and called it a night.

Hind-sight, I should have used more moisturizer and sealer b/c hair is dry looking. I'm not sure how I feel abt it. I don't think it's cute but I like it a little. Maybe I just need to perfect the technique as my bff said. Or it could just be my hair is too short for the technique to fully form. I'll probably try again, however, here is the outcome.

Insanity 5/28/09

So I'm playing around with this whole finger coil style. I've been coiling parts of my hair today. Mostly the back b/c it's always the part that loses curls overnight. I can't see the back of my head, I'm using my fingers to part and coil, I'm not making it neat or attempting to make it something I will wear out of the house. I'm just grabbing and coiling. But for some strange reason, I feel the need to stand in the bathroom and look in the mirror while doing this....hhhhmmmm....insanity.

More Insanity 5/28/09

There is an annoying guy who has my phone number. He calls relentlessly yet I never answer. Well I shouldn't say never b/c we used to talk on a daily basis. Now, not so much. He annoys me from the sound of his voice to the things he says. However, there is one thing abt him that I absolutely LOVE. The fact that he reads everything I post on my website, everything. I spoke to him a couple of months ago when I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. We did the usual "Hey, how ya been? I haven't talked to you in a while" thing, small talk. He asked the usual "why don't you want to talk to me anymore, is it something I've done?" blah blah blah.

Anyway, he tells me he's been going to the site, he loves my work and actually tells me the names and themes of stories he has read. I am impressed. Very few guys show interest in my writing and website. They will lie and say they've read stuff or just plain old show no interest when I talk abt it. Then there are 2 guys who are not writers, they are musicians. I figured they would listen to me talk abt writing and just enjoy the artist convo as this is what I do when they talk me to death abt their music. No, when I tell them abt ideas, they seem to want to fix the ideas. If I say I'm going to write abt pple having sex in a store they say why don't you write abt them having sex at their house instead. Or one of them tries to turn a short story into a novel, telling me I need to add a twist b/c pple will get bored when reading predictable stories. This shows this guy never listens to what I've said b/c everyone knows the short stories are just like quickies (straight to the point, raw, kinky, freaky) and the novels are where all the good twist and plot development takes places.

So, I'm thrilled to have someone frequent my website, read and enjoy. I'm not thrilled to have to talk to this guy b/c he is annoying and has true stalker potential. Do I answer his annoying phone calls as this may increase my fan base or do I ignore him and hope he keeps reading anyway?

And that's not rhetorical...seriously pple, what should I do?

The Good and The Bad 6/1/09

Actually, the bad isn't really bad. It's just ignorance and I shld not have expected less. There is someone who hasn't been supportive abt my natural hair journey. She has asked if I was going to be bald, what I'm going to do with it, telling me she could never go natural and that I'm brave for doing so, the list goes on. So against my better judgement, I go to her house last night. She tells me I look "free" and happy and that my hair smells like jheri curl....WTF? My first question is how does jheri curl smell. Then I get offended and politely explain to her that my hair only smells like the moisturizer and sealer I use, which smell good. She's like oh. Whateve. No more time spent on her ignorance.

The good. Everyone is commenting on how shocked they are at how fast my hair is growing. I kind of thought last week that is was getting longer but thought it may have just been my enthusiam for hair growth. I know my hair grows pretty fast but I still thought it may have just been in my head. Lol...in my head. My sister was over the house a couple of days ago. She hasn't seen me since the day after my BC. She reached out to feel my hair and commented on the growth to which my mother quickly co-signed. Then I saw a friend last night who I hadn't seen in probably a week and he made the same comment. He stated how he was really surprised by how fast it was growing. So this has me feeling a bit more excited abt my hair. I can hardly wait til the 1 month mark so I can take a picture and compare.

Flat Twist 6/8/09

I finally taught myself how to do flat twist! Yay me! I'm proud of myself for figuring it out. Laughed at myself on Friday for thinking I could twist and actually wear it in public. I wanted to go for the frohawk look. When I looked in the mirror and saw how horrible it was, I promptly took them loose. But like I said, proud of myself so I took picts of my first flat twist attempts.

my very first successful twist. this one is actually the best.

this was the finished look...and u can see why this was taken out.

i give myself an "A" for effort.

Twist Out 6/8/09

After a failed attempt to do flat twist, I took some time to work on my next style. I've gotten a bit bored with the shrunken fro and headband look. Wanted something different so I don't get restless. So I spent a few hours two strand twisting my twa. It was rather difficult in some parts b/c my hair is short. I was worried it would look crazy. It did a little a first but after playing around with it, it's not so bad. Picture time!

I know there are a lot of spaces but i just took them out. So once I play with it a little bit more and get rid of some of these spaces it should be better. I like it though

Too soon? 6/9/09

I've recently reconnected with a friend. We've emailed and chatted a lil bit since he's on the other side of the world at the moment. I like him a lot a while back and I figure he felt the same. As we chat, I start to get that girly, giddy feeling of excitement and wonderment of what could be. But as I sit back and think abt this feeling I wonder if I get this too soon when I'm talking to a guy. Do I give away signs that I'm excited and how does this affect the progression of whatever it is we could be moving towards? Do my excited girly ways betray the woman in me who has more than enough common sense to not get excited unless there is actually something to be excited about? Does premature excitement lead me to be disappointed when something amazing does not happen?

I'm thinking the answer to all of those questions is yes. I get caught up in the excitment of what could happen instead of enjoying what is happening. It's like being excited that I may win the lottery when I bought a ticket along with thousands of other pple. Just not wise. What I need to is calm my little happy ass down. There is a truth to this situation that i must look at. He's been away & probably celibate for abt a year. Most guys will say anything to make sure they will have some waiting for them when they return. It's safe to say that he could be talking to me specifically for that purpose. Would my feelings be hurt? A little bit. Another truth I must look at. I have a "boyfriend" who is not giving me anything I need to be happy. I find myself extremely attracted to every guy who gives me more than the boyfriend and that doesn't take much. I'm even more attracted to my stalker (not so much stalker as really likes attention when I don't want to give). Either way it goes, I like the guy and hope to spend time with him upon his return.

Maybe I shouldn't be 6/15/09

So, for those who remember the blog More Insanity, I was debating about a stalkerish type guy. Couldn't decide if I should sever all contact because I like the attention he pays to my writing. Well, after some suggestions from friends, I kept in contact with him. However, I have made it a point to be firm in any conversation we have that I am not interested in him and it has worked. We have good conversation, which is what attracted me to him in the first place, and he's not being the pathetic, pest he was before. We actually seem to be building a really good friendship. We talk about a lot of different things and never run out of stuff to talk about. It's cool.

However, I wonder if maybe I shouldn't be getting cool with him like this. A person's crazy doesn't just disappear. I actually initiated a few conversations with him over the past week. Could it be that I am enjoying our conversations b/c I don't have a boyfriend and enjoy the extra attention it brings? Knowing myself, that is very possible! But he's not getting on my nerves like he did before. I don't see myself dating him but at the moment he seems cool so I'll keep him around as a friend. I just hope his crazy doesn't resurface.

The Power of Persuasion? 6/18/09

A little over a month ago, I was reading the discussion board of the natural hair group on Facebook. I came across a post in which a member said she had "The Dream" and now felt she was official apart of the natural sisterhood. "The Dream" apparently is when a naturalista dreams that she let someone perm her natural hair. I laughed at that. It was hiliarous to me.

My one month anniversary is tomorrow and I am so excited to take picts and compare my progress. But than last night I had "The Dream." My sister asked my to coil my hair so she could see what a coil-out looked like. I used a lot of products and did the style. When I washed it out, my hair was bone straight but my roots were still nappy. I couldn't figure out how to get my hair back to it's natural state. So I guess I had the dream but not really b/c I moreso dreamt of having my hair straightened than permed. Does that mean I'm only halfway into the sisterhood? lol!

Curl Activator 6/22/09

Yesterday, I go to the beach with some friends. We splash in the water, eat ice cream, listen to a live band....loads of fun. When we get back to the friend's house, I hop in the shower b/c I am covered in sand. One of the guys is growing out his hair so thankfully he has a few products that I could use to wash my hair. I used some of his shampoo and it gave me a really thick lather. I don't know the name of it but that let me know it had some things in it that shouldn't be going in my hair. It worked though and smelled pretty good.

He was raving about the moisturizer he had been using and how great it made his hair feel (light & soft). I agree. His hair felt really soft and no greasy residue. And he only has to use this moisturizer a couple of times a week. I grab this when I get out the shower and tilt the jar so I can open it. Moisturizer everywhere! It's not a liquid but very watery. So after I scoop most of it back in the jar, I apply to my hair. Only took a small amount to get my whole head and it did feel great.

He also uses a curl activator instead of gel (which is what I use). My best friend has mentioned something to me before about trying a curl activator and I've seen it all over blogs. People seem to love this stuff and it makes thier curls pop. I was kind of excited about trying it without having to buy it. I used about the same amount of activator as I use gel. I'm not sure if I was supposed to use more or less but that seemed to be a good amount to me.

Fast forward 30 minutes later...my hair is still wet. Very wet. With the products I have at home, my hair is mostly if not completely dry by now. This has me thinking, maybe this is why he doesn't have to do his hair but a couple of days a week. It takes forever to dry so stays moisturized. After a little over an hour, my hair is finally dry.

Final results: my hair is very soft. I think I'll get some of that moisturizer when mine runs out. And it wasn't heavy at all. Unfortunately, he didn't have any type of oil so I wasn't able to seal in the moisture. My hair looks very dry even though it feels great. As far as the activator goes...not good for my curls at at! I have a few, very random sprinkling of spiral curls that are always in my hair. The rest of my hair is naturally very loosely curled, some spots are straightish and some are wavy. After using the activator, the straightish/wavy sections are a frizzy/straight mess. The back of my head had absolutely no curls. The sides are curly and straight at the same time. The middle/top is curlier than the rest but not the defined culrs that I'm used to. When I touch my hair, it's not greasy but my hands feel a bit sticky.

This just goes to show that every product is for every head.

Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww 6/22/09

Okay, I actually really dislike the curl activator and moisturizer combo. I was going to wash my hair in about 30 min but I scratched my head and it feels sooooo gross! I sticky and gooey feeling. Let the record show that I will never use curl activator again.

Pictures 6/22/09

Everyone seems to have hair inspiration. Currently, this is mine. Oh and sorry abt the crazy spacing btwn the picts. Cant seem to get rid of it with jacking up with photo

I hope this is my hair twin, I love her hair

This is probably how I will do my hair if I get married. I love this. So elegant.

A great new style for my TWA 6/24/09

TWA (teenie weenie afro)

It's hard to find styles to do with my hair because it is so short. The short length makes styling it difficult and time consuming. I have grown tired of the usual wash n go with a headband so I looked at youtube this weekend for som styling ideas. And also, I realized i may need to give my hairline and hair a rest from the tight headbands. The front of my hair was starting to look bone straight from being pulled.

I saw a few things I will try. Simple stuff like using bobby pins to create fohawk type looks. Stuff that I can actually do. Not like the stuff that's cute but I can't do like cornrowing sections. I need to invest in some rubberbands. I can flat twist without them but I think until I get a little more hair, I may need the rubberbands to make them stay a little better. Then I came across a video from someone who doesn't have a TWA but she was showing a simple style that she does. She would wash her hair, apply product, and then randomly finger coil sections of her hair. So I tried it and I LOVE IT. My hair looks very cute and full of spirals. It gives it a very different look than finger coiling my entire head and I like it much better.

I just take about ten minutes or less and coil. I did notice while doing this that the top and front of my hair don't seem to coil. Why? Because I have A LOT of permed ends up there. It stops me from being able to coil it. The strands just kind of twist together instead of coil and the permed ends stick out in which ever direction with no type of curl. I'm tempted to start snipping at them with the scissors but i don't want to cut too much either. I don't think I'm brave enough to cut my own hair yet. I was going to wait a few more months until I got another cut but with my hair acting like this, I don't think i can wait.

Just smack me in the face 6/25/09

I was doing my usual of searching blogs about natural hair. I came across a blog, don't remember name of it, and at the end of post the blogger had a signature. Her signature was a picture of herself holding up a peace sign and under it the quote "two painted fingers." She wore nail polish. I thought it was so cute. Normally when I'm leaving from somewhere, I'll through up the peace sign and say "deuces." Same thing different words. But seeing the chick with her nails painted and the quote, I loved it! That prompted me to want to paint my nails.

I used to have long, very colorful nails. I liked having my nails done but I have grown out of that wild phase. My nails have been growing long and healthy but I decided to cut them since I would be painting them. To me, natural nails that are shorter look better than long when they are painted. So I trimmed my nails Tuesday night and painted them a deep reddish purple color yesterday afternoon. As I'm painting, my mother walks in and I tell her about the blog. She turns up her nose saying, "Uugh, that's not cute." I told her I thought it was and it made me want to paint my nails. She watches me and then looks down at her own nails saying, "You now everyone at work is always saying how pretty and clear my nails are and asking how I got them that way b/c theirs are yellow. I told them it's because I never paint my nails like they do, so mine don't turn color. And I remember your grandmother used to paint her nails all the time. She wore this really ugly dark color and her nails were practically brown. It took years for her nails to get back right."

That's a whole lot of negativity over some nail polish. But I ignored that slap in the face and kept painting my nails. I felt prettier after they were done.

Kicking my heels together 7/7/09

If I were in a movie there would be a chorus of angels singing "aaahhhh" in the background, while I ran through a field of pink, purple, yellow and red spring flowers, as rays of sunshine beamed down upon my perfectly coifed, well moisturized hair. I went to a store in Lynnhaven Mall in Vrginia Beach, VA called Roots. A nice store that sells all things from a variety of Motherlands (Africa, Panama, Jamaica, etc.). I normally do not go to this mall however I had a young cousin in town for the holiday and I took her to almost every mall in the area. When we walk in, I see this shelf full of body and hair care products. I find this small container of hair butter from a new company called Nubian Heritage. I open and it smells so good. I mean it smells like candy. I had to stop myself from licking the top, lol!

Product name: Coconut & Papaya Hair Butter

Ingredients: Coconut oil, shea butter, vitamin E, Papaya extract, rosemary extract, aloe vera gel, cocoa butter, jojoba oil, sunflower oil.

I washed my hair yesterday, poo and co. I wanted a clean head of hair to use this on. I rubbed a finger across the top and felt it was creamy and oily so I decided to use only this product for a wash and go. My hair immediately felt soft and of course smelled delicious. When I woke up this morning, my hair was still soft, curls looked great and again SMELLS WONDERFUL. lol!

For the first time since my b/c, I have 2nd day hair. I am very very happy with this product. It worked as a mosturizer and sealer. The only down side is the price. The container is only a 4oz jar and it cost.....$8.99. *sigh* It's worth it b/c it works so well but I can't afford the price for the size. If it were larger yes I would but it again. Let me take that back, I will buy some again when the container runs out but this will not be an everyday product. This will be a special occasion hair product. I will continue to support this new line and intend to go to their website to see if they have other products I may want to use.

http://www.nubianheritage.com/

Shea Butter 7/9/09

So I finally used the 100% Raw Shea Butter that I purchased at the store Roots in Lynnhaven Mall. I used my moisturizer from SoftSheen Carson and the shea as a sealer. I washed with poo before using because I wanted clean hair/no other products so I could determine the full results. I have never had raw shea before. It was always mixed with something. I'm not sure if I like the nutty smell. That sounds utterly crazy because it comes from a nut but I'm just saying...it's real nutty. Lol! It didn't take much of it to cover my head since I'm still in TWA land. It was a bit difficult to apply. My hair for some reason, didn't seem as curly as usual so I decided to do my 10 minute finger coil. The shea really helped with styling my hair. I always complain about the top of my hair not coiling because of the remaining permed ends that need to be trimmed. However, with the shea butter, the hair curled and didn't look crazy or like clumps of twisted hair. I loved that. When my hair was dry, it felt soft but didn't have any type of shine. I felt it looked kind of dull. This could be because the castor oil I've been using is very oily and I'm used to that shine. Fast forward to waking up today: 1st of all, I was lazy and didn't put on a scarf. My coils look crazy so I will be restyling my hair today. No 2nd day hair. And, I'm not feeling the softness and moisture that I was feeling yesterday. Now this could be because of the fact that I didn't wear a scarf or it could be that the shea works as well as the other products I've used and will have to be applied daily. I'm considering mixing the shea with something else, not only because I'm not fond of the smell but also for more of a shine. I"m going to do a bit of research and see what other naturalistas are doing with their raw shea.